Thursday, April 13

Eight words you never want to hear...

"Wouldn't it be a cool idea if I...?" If you hear these words come out of my mouth, run, as fast as you can, do not walk, to your nearest fallout shelter. You just *might* be protected enough!

Dateline: Monday, April 10, 7:30 a.m.
I've just finished my last shift of the "week" at work and I had a bright idea overnight. The crud and mess behind the fridge and stove is unmanagable at best. Why don't I get some scrubbies and steel wool, and scour all that crap, even the stuff on the walls, and put a coat of wax down underneath? I know that the kitchen tile is 'no wax', but I'm going to be scrubbing the hell out of it, and it's not going to be seen anyway! $35.00 later, I'm proudly going home with a shiny new pail filled with cleansers in scents I like {instead of Derek's}, scrubbies, and other assorted heavy/ spring cleaning type stuff.

Dateline: Monday, April 10, 10:30 a.m.
I've removed all the crud from the top of the fridge, including the banana carcass with mouse poop all around it {how in the hell did those buggers get up there anyway??? Some questions are better left unanswered methinks}. I've pulled the fridge out and into the middle of the kitchen floor, and managed to control my gag reflex. It's amazing how much mess that spilled coffee, spilled milk, cheerios {for the milk?}, leaking water, and mice can make in one little space! Three pails of super-hot Pine Sol water later, and I've discovered that there isn't two layers of peel and stick tile on our floor -- there's two layers of peel and stick on top of old linoleum tile!!! The peel and stick under the fridge was all unstuck, so I pulled it all off. I have to find my bleach now to take care of the mould and mildew from all of the water and such. I call Derek at work since small repairs are required, here's the conversation: "Hi honey, can we go to Home Depot after work?"; {hesitantly} "Why?"; "I need a piece of ¼" underlay for under the fridge."; {fearful now} "Why?"; "I had another one of my bright ideas... I was going to wax the floor under the fridge and discovered that there's *three* layers of tile on the kitchen floor, not two. I had to pull up all the rotten tile under the fridge, and now I need a thin piece of wood to level it off again and fix it all up."; "I have enough underlay left from the fire, we can use that. But, we can go if you like to check out our options for the floor."

Dateline: Monday, April 10, 4:00 p.m.
I've gotten the fridge corner as clean as I can get it and pulled out the stove too. The girls are positive that Mom has lost her mind. Mind??? I have a mind??? Some damage there too, but not as serious. More importantly, I've gotten most of the grease build-up off of the walls that nothing but a Magic Eraser will remove {or painting will cover-up}.

Dateline: Monday, April 10, 6:30 p.m.
Derek has come home, assessed the wake of destruction that he lovingly refers to as "Da wife", and discovers that the leftover wood from the fire repairs is too small. We calculate the square footage of the kitchen to price out redoing the entire floor and off to Home Depot we go.

Dateline: Monday, April 10, 8:00 p.m.
Back home from HD with three boxes of peel and stick tile, spray foam, scrapers, and paint samples for the planned repaint this summer. Long discussion ensued at HD over tile choices... including the gorgeous high-quality tile that was on clearance half-price. End decision was to buy decent-looking cheap stuff since we are hoping to completely renovate the kitchen {including the foundation issues and moving the sink and such} in the next 5-10 years.

Dateline: Tuesday, April 11, 2:00 p.m.
Derek is home from the dentist, and my hands are beginning to function. Time to start scraping off the old tile. After about 10 sq. feet, the decision is made that putting a whole new subfloor on TOP of this mess would be much easier. A quick check of floor clearances at the back door detects that we will need to have a small sunken area at the doorway. Floor mouldings removed and trashed while waiting for the girls to get home from school. Measurements taken of what edgings we will need and new floor register for the cold air return, and duly noted in my day planner.

Dateline: Tuesday, April 11, 5:00 p.m.
Good deal on wood -- $12 a sheet; got edgings and a huge pail of screws -- a-home we will go.

Dateline: Tuesday, April 11, 8:00 p.m.
Oh crap, we forgot the heat vent!!! We'll need to go back for something, so we'll wait to run back to HD. Wood is going down nicely, and the kitchen is a *lot* less square than we thought! One fiasco with the new tiles and a full cup of coffee later, and things are progressing well. We might be able to finish the majority of it before midnight tonight!

Dateline: Tuesday, April 11, 11:30 p.m.
Done for the night. Decision made to put new wood even at the doorway. Clearances will be tight, but we can get a new threshold for the door and remove the weather stripping to prevent damage to the new tiles there. All that's left is a couple small cuts to bring the wood up to the edge of the basement stairs {requiring a stair nose piece}, using the foam to fill in various gaps, and laying the remaining tile down.

Dateline: Wednesday, April 12, 2:00 p.m.
All full tiles have been laid except at the top of stairs which cannot be laid until the last piece of wood is put down. Tile cuts by the sink are done so that I can get some cleaning and dishes done. The microwave cabinet is a heartbreaking mess. Even cleaned up, the kids have trashed it, and I can't stand looking at it that way. I still love the functionality of it, and wish that it still looked like it did when we bought it. I don't even know where to begin to repair the damage. Replacement seems to be the only option since I don't even know where all the pieces to it have disappeared to.

Dateline: Wednesday, April 12, 6:30 p.m.
At HD for our third trip in as many days. Returned the piece of edging that wasn't needed. Purchased stair nose, new threshold pieces, and heating vent to match the one by the fridge. Looked longingly at new hardware for the microwave cabinet {they still sell the ones we bought for the kitchen cupboards 2 years ago}, and discovered that the HD website wasn't *that* crappy when it comes to looking for microwave carts... they simply don't sell them! We're now sitting at approximately 10 times my original $35 purchase... I don't think I'm allowed to spring clean anymore!!!

Dateline: Wednesday, April 12, 11:00 p.m.
Another evening done in the kitchen. This *did* start off as a couple hour project to scour and wax the floor under the fridge, didn't it? I was supposed to be done before Derek even got home from work on Monday!!! Wood done by stairs, tile cuts done in that corner, and stair nose installed. Cut made for cold air return. After a game break, the spray foam was done, and the last few tiles laid that could be done.

Dateline: Thursday, April 13, 1:00 p.m.
All that's left to do now is to trim the excess foam, try to clean the tiles that got foam on them {Thanks honey for being the first one to make a mess like that... not me or the kids!!!!}, put the new threshold on the door and move the last of the stuff in the kitchen. I wonder if I will cook tonight? Nah!!! I have to work tonight!!! Happy weekend gone!

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